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Deep Questions

• Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
• Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
• I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
• Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• Is there another word for synonym?
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
• Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all?"
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
• How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
• Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

John Forristel ( johnf@bi-tech.com)